Gary D. Chapman : The 5 Languages of Love

Often you hear about couples who love each other but do not know how to show and express their love in order for their partner to understand and receive exactly the message he/she wants to give. This is because we all have our own love language. What is a love language? It is the way in which we express our feelings of love. We feel loved once the person besides us is communicating in our love language.

Gary Chapman, a longtime relationship counselor, wrote this exceptional book “The Five Languages of Love” explaining that we all have a primarily love language which we need to identity. Once this is done, identify your partner’s love language and if it is different, learn it! It is like learning a foreign language, for most of us it is something new which we don’t understand.

Step 1 : study the 5 love languages and identify your which is your primarily.

Step 2: identify your partner’s primarily love language

Step 3 : learn your partner’s primarily love language and express through it

And now, let’s see the 5 love languages:

1. Words of Affirmations

These may be verbal compliments, kind words or encouraging affirmations such as “You look so good in that suit!” or “I really appreciate that you washed the dishes tonight!” or “thanks for helping me on my project!” or “Your work is fantastic. You will surely succeed on your project, you can do that!”. These are spoken regularly, simple and clear.

2. Quality time

It is about the time spent together with your partner in which you offer him/her your attention 100%. Having activities which he/she likes, for example going to concerts, to movies, having lunch together, going on trips in the weekend just the two of you. It is about enjoying to be together and doing everything together with a positive attitude. It can also be a quality conversation based on what we are hearing , asking questions wanting to understand the feelings, thoughts and desires of the other, listening sympathetically.

3. Receiving gifts

Gifts come in all sizes, covers and shapes, expensive or free. Make a list of the gifts that your spouse has been given of which he/she was delighted, it may be gifts offered by you or anybody else. Don’t wait for a special occasion for offering them.

4. Acts of service

This is about helping and doing things for your partner for expressing love. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing the dishes, gardening etc.

5. Physical touch

Hugs, kisses, holding hands and sexual intercourse, for some of us these are the ways in which we like our partner to express in order for us to feel loved and secured. If so, this means your primarily love language is physical touch.

As a resume ( credit : www.xonicole.com ):

LoveLanguagegrid

 

Find here a quiz so that you can know in which category you are: http://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/.

So, which is your love language? Did you test your partner? Did this help?

 

 

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5 facts why travelling as a couple means growing as a couple

As we all know, travelling is a great way to discover places,people and cultures. But also is one of the best ways to get to know yourself. Once you get out of your comfort zone, all the challenges and opportunities that you face become part of your personal development trace.

This is also the case of travelling as a couple. Making plans, being together in situations that put your limits at test, taking decisions together as well as sharing happiness – these are facts that will take your relationship to the next level.

Based on our experiences, here are 5 reasons that will make you grow as a couple once you travel together:

  1. Have goals that you settled together

Setting goals is an important step up in your personal development plan. It also is the starting point for the growth of you two as a couple. It implies that both of you need, like, search and want the same goal. It is a major step in your relationship. It also means that the goal you settled will be reached only by you together, so the relationship is seen from a different perspective.

2. Cope and get to know each other

Facing difficult challenges as well sharing precious moments together will get to know yourself and your mate better.  Having different and exciting activities, taking challenges and accepting each other’s limits will bring more trust and respect. Patience, understanding, caring for each other’s needs will bring your relationship to the next level.

3. Carpe diem!

In translation:  Live the moment! Yes, travelling brings you this great chance to enjoy every moment at its best. The landscapes, the people you meet, the activities are all part of your experience you live together and which impact your lives and your relationship. And the more you get out of every moment spent together, the more you connect and enjoy whatever happens. Whether funny, exciting, romantic or sad experiences, you are in that moment and this will give you the most true and alive feelings.

4. Discover,learn and live the romance

Travelling as a couple means spending almost of all your time together. Learning and educating yourselves at the same time discovering new places and new activities are values invested in your relationship, values that are countless. Since being on vacation means cutting off from work or other daily tasks, there is room for cultivating an important feature of your relationship: romance. Romance and affection bring you balance and harmony.

5. Create history together

Whatever you are going through on a trip, at the end it is all part of you and part of your memories together. All the experiences lived are ones of you together and also reasons for you to think how much your relationship developed after such a period.

Travelling as a couple means gathering experiences together that will make you never want to be apart. Plans, experiences,memories – these will make you grow individually and as a couple.