Often you hear about couples who love each other but do not know how to show and express their love in order for their partner to understand and receive exactly the message he/she wants to give. This is because we all have our own love language. What is a love language? It is the way in which we express our feelings of love. We feel loved once the person besides us is communicating in our love language.
Gary Chapman, a longtime relationship counselor, wrote this exceptional book “The Five Languages of Love” explaining that we all have a primarily love language which we need to identity. Once this is done, identify your partner’s love language and if it is different, learn it! It is like learning a foreign language, for most of us it is something new which we don’t understand.
Step 1 : study the 5 love languages and identify your which is your primarily.
Step 2: identify your partner’s primarily love language
Step 3 : learn your partner’s primarily love language and express through it
And now, let’s see the 5 love languages:
1. Words of Affirmations
These may be verbal compliments, kind words or encouraging affirmations such as “You look so good in that suit!” or “I really appreciate that you washed the dishes tonight!” or “thanks for helping me on my project!” or “Your work is fantastic. You will surely succeed on your project, you can do that!”. These are spoken regularly, simple and clear.
2. Quality time
It is about the time spent together with your partner in which you offer him/her your attention 100%. Having activities which he/she likes, for example going to concerts, to movies, having lunch together, going on trips in the weekend just the two of you. It is about enjoying to be together and doing everything together with a positive attitude. It can also be a quality conversation based on what we are hearing , asking questions wanting to understand the feelings, thoughts and desires of the other, listening sympathetically.
3. Receiving gifts
Gifts come in all sizes, covers and shapes, expensive or free. Make a list of the gifts that your spouse has been given of which he/she was delighted, it may be gifts offered by you or anybody else. Don’t wait for a special occasion for offering them.
4. Acts of service
This is about helping and doing things for your partner for expressing love. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing the dishes, gardening etc.
5. Physical touch
Hugs, kisses, holding hands and sexual intercourse, for some of us these are the ways in which we like our partner to express in order for us to feel loved and secured. If so, this means your primarily love language is physical touch.
As a resume ( credit : www.xonicole.com ):
Find here a quiz so that you can know in which category you are: http://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/.
So, which is your love language? Did you test your partner? Did this help?